The Fat Guy Project: Fat Shaming
September 24, 2019
After watching Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out documentary, this really good heart warming documentary that talks about bullying and fat shaming, that Little Mix’s Jesy went through. I just wanted to take some time to talk about a little something called fat shaming. Now I’ve always been a proud man, I don’t really care to acknowledge it till now that I’ve mustered up the strength to do so.
Look I'm not gonna lie and say I dont look cute there cuz obviously I do, who doesn't like a fat baby. I'm posting this to show you that I was born fat, It wasn't a choice of mine as a kid to be fat which makes all the times people fat shamed me as a kid look so horrible
My parents never found me attractive looking (I’m totally fine with that, it is what it is), one of them even called me out and told me I was “ugly.” Now if you’re thinking, “then why is this an issue if you are totally fine with it?” Look, I have a sister, who most people would describe as gorgeous, and my parents gon be proud showing her off. There were even instances where they would only introduce her to people and just leave me hanging waiting for an introduction that never came, or if they’re going to introduce me it’ll be just a passing, swept it under the rug type of thing, in my head it would go like “oh meet my gorgeous daughter, we look alike, she’s from UP, and here’s my son, now back to my daughter, my most prized possession”. That’s how it normally goes. Like I only get introduced 100% if my sister isn’t around.
Notice how I cover myself up, It's a recurring thing for me in photos back then
When there’s only two of you, the comparisons weigh more heavily, which some people don’t even realize. It was always black and white, people would be like “oh this is the pretty, and smart one, and the other is this huge, dumb one” like why can’t it be “shes the pretty and smart one, and he’s the capable and resourceful one” like why are my other qualities swept under the rug just because I don’t look as nice. In family reunions, I’m always the butt of the fat jokes, when people would always shower my sister with compliments. Don’t get it twisted now, I don’t hate my sister for it, I’m not that type of b*tch, I actually love my sister, it’s not her fault that people do this to me.
When I was younger there was a teacher in particular who was totally, absolutely, 100% a douche. He would often make remarks of my body, he would even go to lengths as to watch me during P.E. classes and make fun of me on the side. He is a horrible person who till this day I still can’t believe existed. Even in high school, during report card day, some teachers would even tell my parents “oh your son is getting fatter and fatter.” like what does that have to do with my academic standing, can’t you say anything else about me like “oh he’s a strong player with leadership qualities that comes out every school competitions”
Me in High School, the only shirtless photo I have where I don't cover myself, it's an accidental photo, I did not want this photo to be out there but here it is.
Whenever I’m with my partner, who at the time was skinnier than me, people would often say “oh he must be rich to get someone like that” or “how much is he paying him” or “you look like his dad” or “he’s definitely out of your league" just on account of how fat and ugly I was. People don’t even factor in the love aspect of it all, they just went by, “he’s fat, gay and older, and the other one’s younger and skinnier, there must be some sort of payment or gold digging going on”
This is the best photo I can find where I was super fat and he was sorta thin, the actual pictures of him being thin and me being fat does not exist cuz I didn't want to take pictures then
Everytime I ride the public transportation, other commuters would often give me the stink eye whenever things get tight. On multiple occasions I was even asked to pay for a total of two passengers because I was fat. In elevators, people would often look at me with disgust, there was even this woman and her friend who entered the elevator a little later than I did (I rode the elevator going down from the 25th floor, and they entered in at 18th floor, when the elevator started buzzing she asked me to step out because according to her “my weight equals the weight of three persons, so you need to step off” and people just stood there laughing. It’s gotten so bad that the simple daily activities such as those two gave me anxiety even till this day.
My lowest point was definitely during college where I ate absolutely nothing for 3 months, just to, in my head, “look better” and low key depression, because there’s this particular person who rejected me because I was fat (he said it straight to my face) We were hitting it off in the beginning, he was giving me the exact attention I was giving him, he even put on more effort than I did, but when I asked him like “can we make this official” he was like “no, you’re too fat” that immediately urged me to just stop eating, and when I got skinnier, he started hitting me up again, asking me out, wanting to “give the relationship a second try” that’s when I started equating, being skinny to good looking, but needless to say I left his sorry a**. Also shoutout to my professor and classmate in college who bought me Kariman from Mini Stop when I fainted in her class due to extreme starvation.
When I actually start dieting people would often ridicule my efforts, and would go as far as calling me a liar or faking it, for starting out a fitness routine. I even started out a series on my blog documenting my weightloss journey, The Fat Guy Project, which aimed to promote a healthy lifestyle, which I put in to a halt because of the hateful comments the first article received (I’ve deleted it all but it’s still in my inbox) They would say stuff like “you ain’t fit” "the audacity to do this article is mindblowing” “ He’s still fat that’s why he’s not posting shirtless after photos” They even called me out to be a bragging fella or someone who goes against body positivity when all I wanted to do was encourage everyone to value their health or to help people who are going through the same struggles as me.
Me at present day, still insecure but trying to be brave to get the message out there.
Now I’m not going to act innocent and claim to have never been the one spitting it out, as I most certainly have been on both sides. I have on multiple occasions passed on my insecurities to other people and for that I will apologise. For here on out I vow never to make remarks based on physical appearance, unless you ask me to, as a caring friend, and you are a horrible person to begin with.
I didn’t make this article to gain sympathy or approval or even an apology from these ratchet people, I definitely lived a happy life, this is just one of the things that made it suck a little bit. I’m making this article to show you guys that this kind of oppression happens even to the best of us and show you how easily you can be a target for it even if you’re doing absolutely nothing and that body insecurities happen to guys to, it’s not just women who have these insecurities. Hopefully the oppressors who bothered to read this article get a little perspective. In all those situations, I’m just forced to laugh it off or make a joke about it, cuz there’s not much I can do really, if I fight them off, they’ll oppress me even more, if I called them out they’ll say I’m in denial of the fact. And it all couldn’t have happened if people had a little more tact and empathy.
I believe I am a strong person and I will never allow myself become a victim of other people’s ratchetness so let me clap back for a bit to end this article. To my family, I know I’m fat, and amma do something about it at my own time, but don’t shame me while tucking in your gut. To that horrible teacher back in elementary, I’m not yet done with my schooling but I’m more successful now than you will ever be. To the people saying I pay my partner to be with me, suck my CARTIER bearing arms. To the guy who didn’t value me because I was fat, I’am not an option, nor am I an investment, I am a prize, cuz I’m not just a snack honey, I’m the whole damn meal. To all the strangers who ridiculed me, ridicule me all you want, you will never dim my light, fat or thin, I will forever shine.
And to those who are experiencing the same thing, on any level, my only advice is to not let other people dull your shine, don’t give them the power to dictate who you are, have fun, enjoy yourself, be proud, you are not just your weight you are so much more than that, you just have to focus on your worth as a person. Till this day, I’m still a bit insecure of a lot of things about my body, but hey, I’ve learned to embrace it, I’ve got stretch marks, loose skin, and a flabby tummy that folds like an accordion when I sit down. SO WHAT.
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